Jan 31 2013

Getting to Yes!

I thought I needed an attitude adjustment last week because my main computer went down. It seems so much of my life this last few years depends on it. I pay my bills, make appointments, take care of business, play with my animation programs, convert videos, launch websites, and write blogs such as this one. Yes, I was going crazy (for my G rated viewers). Yes, I had a back up computer but it was worse than I expected to deal with. Yes, I was frustrated and I was surely no hero this week! No, hold on now!  I thought Kat was reacting to my little snaps and dark moments so very inappropriately that it just furthered my own stress and exaggerated my aggravation with her. I was so enthralled with my own emotions that I missed reading her underlying behavior completely!. Today, I went to my Psychiatrist (for my ADHD – no stigma here about my mental health – see my latest post at www.thisandmoreblog.prismhawk.com  ) and I told him about some of Kat’s actions such as very slow responses to my questions, answering a question with another (usually unrelated) question, her asking me to find pieces of jewelry just as am beginning to set up her dialysis for the night, and misunderstanding one of my rants directed at the computer situation (She blamed herself!). My Psychiatrist asked me this: Are you sure she is behaving this way because of your issues or hers? He then told me to knock off my own self-pity, observe, and talk to Kat’s doctor. This could be either a mental or some other health issue! Just at that moment I solved the issue (I think?). I noticed that in the last couple of days Kat missed several observations and misread some my nonverbal behaviors. We were also very close to her eye doctor’s office. I put these two ideas together and asked her: Please try and answer me honestly, are you having a harder time than normal seeing out of your one good eye? It was amazing like her whole body relaxed and she said one word “Yes”!

About the author

Richard Klein

Founding Member of Prismhawk LLC an online publish company dedicated to sharing learning experiences in language arts, nature, and care giving. Richard lives with his wife Kat. He has worked for over 20 years in customer and technical services. Richard has BA's in English Education and Literature, he also minored in Biological Science. His favorite videos are It's a Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and Avatar. He is also a huge Doctor Who and Star Trek fan.

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